// JavaScript Document
num1 = Math.floor((14+1)*Math.random()+1);
if (num1 == 1)
{
document.write(' Calvin: "You cannot just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood."
Hobbes: "What mood is that?"
Calvin: "Last-minute panic."');
}
if (num1 == 2)
{
document.write('
"Why isn’t my life like a situation comedy?
Why don’t I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures?
Why aren’t my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms?
Why don’t my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems?
... I gotta get my life some writers."
–Calvin');
}
if (num1 == 3)
{
document.write(' “If you can’t find much wrong with your manuscript, then its probably so awful it should be burnt.”
–Sara Douglass ');
}
if (num1 == 4)
{
document.write(' “John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.”
–From a list of bad analogies ');
}
if (num1 == 5)
{
document.write(' “It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.”
–Old Man ');
}
if (num1 == 6)
{
document.write(' “A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that’s about standards.”
–Dr. Horrible ');
}
if (num1 == 7)
{
document.write(' “You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.”
–Homer Simpson ');
}
if (num1 == 8)
{
document.write(' “Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open.”
–Stephen King ');
}
if (num1 == 9)
{
document.write(' “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”
–Stephen King ');
}
if (num1 == 10)
{
document.write(' “Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia”
–E. L. Doctorow ');
}
if (num1 == 11)
{
document.write(' “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
–Douglas Adams ');
}
if (num1 == 12)
{
document.write(' “The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn’t require any.”
–Russell Baker ');
}
if (num1 == 13)
{
document.write(' “Use your imagination. Trust me, your lives are not interesting. Don’t write them down.”
–W. B. Kinsella ');
}
if (num1 == 14)
{
document.write(" Q. Please explain the expression: 'This does not bode well.'
A. It means that something is not boding the way it should. It could be boding better.
–Dave Barry ");
}
if (num1 == 15)
{
document.write(' “I realize that I am generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care.”
–Dave Barry ');
}